Hey guys, sorry it’s been so long since I posted last. I’ve been taking care of midterms related homework…so much to do so little time. I’m still not feeling caught up at all and that is really frustrating for me. I don’t like feeling behind. Thankfully, one more week of classes and I will be able to hopefully spend spring break catching up.

So, I’ve told you about my parents divorce and my dad’s relationships afterwards, but I realized that I haven’t really told you much more about myself.

I have been dealing with depression for many years, since about the time my grandma died when I was ten. I think I had been dealing with this stuff for a long time before, but this is when the “monster” took hold over me. I say monster, because it has really been like there was a monster that has been rampaging through my life all this time. This isn’t the kind of depression that only happens every so often, it’s a daily struggle to keep it in check. Dealing with this after so long has made it a little easier to handle it when I start feeling like my world is crashing down.

See, I also have issues with anxiety, ADD(which I am in the process of trying to get a diagnosis of), and other issues that I am not even really sure how to define them.

It wasn’t until this last year that I finally have begun to learn who I am and that things like depression and ADD can’t stop me from doing what I love. Yes, they can, and will, create obstacles that I have to overcome. But, I am finally able to start to see myself as someone other than stupid, ugly, fat, slow, dumb….the list goes on and on.

I was recently watching a show about ADD and one of the things they brought up was that ADD has been linked to childhood obesity. It was like something just clicked in my head when I heard that. Depression, anxiety, and low self esteem are also part of the package. I also watched as these amazing doctors, psychologists, and other prominent members of society said that they also have ADD/ADHD. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, that I don’t have to feel bad about myself.

I don’t know that my self esteem issues will ever truly go away, but I know now that I have a reason to work to be the person I want to be.